hail thee!

surreal thoughts were blocking my head suddenly. yes i was thinking after a long time. sanity had come back. there were many people all around me who had asked me to do things now..for one..there was this pal who said.."dude! stand in front of the mirror, and then look into your face..then slap yourself real hard straight across the face..and then wonder what you were doing for all this while."

yes!

i was involved in an emotional turmoil that almost made it impossible for me to look at other things. true to the latest content, i was being diplomatic for the first time. i was learning how to say "no". through the glossy panes of my window, i could make out the silhouette of the object that had been my drapery for the past few days. yes. this was realisation as well. just a drapery. the hallowed intensity with which i was worshipping it made the quest for material thoughts look saner. what my peers were telling me to do at the right time were, well, the right things. i was easily deviated from that path by the shallowness of my aura. yes..aura. i did carry one of a kind of that when i glided over the stone steps of my dirty soul. dirt almost clothed me then. piety and piousness, the things that had distinguished my forefathers before me had found its gradual decline in my hands. it was a new race altogether. it was a hybrid of the piety that was left in me...the insane piety..the devilish one, and the murky extravagance that dwelt in me now. was not a very healthy combination, but i still tried my level best to look through the various things that were encompassing my mind now. i was mind boggled. everywhere around me i could see the precious stones that i had scattered over the period of time,. they reflected my face sadly..i could not gather them and pick them up. i was cursed, jinxed. i was unable to bend and collect the stones.

behold!

there was nobody who would help me now. i was only witnessing my downfall. hopes had exhausted. that is not a healthy thing, my father had once told me. "hopes are what we line on, my child". hopes?? what hopes? there was only one hope now. i could degenerate completely to form from the ashes a new me; the kind of exercise that a phoenix practices. there was a reason for what i was doing. i was aware of what i did! very sadistic! but it dint even pain...

there was i lying in a pool of blood............hail the innocence.